White Collared Part Four: Passion Read online

  The entire bottle to end it all?

  She released the container. If she could survive attempts on her life while working undercover, then she could survive a broken heart. After all, she was exactly where she’d worked so hard to be. Interning for Nicholas Trenton and now practically guaranteed a place as an associate at the firm.

  She held her head high as she left the police station. Her stomach clenched at the sight of the media vans pulling into the lot. She was surprised that the news had been kept under wraps as long as it had.

  Maybe one day she’d be able to forgive them for the hell they’d put her through as a teenager, but she wasn’t quite there yet. Although, she had to admit, Rachel was growing on her.

  Ignoring the reporters’ shouts, she slid into the heated seat of Nick’s car. “Get us out of here. I’m ready for home.”

  He hit the gas and they barreled out of the lot before any of the press could follow. Of course, they all knew where she lived now.

  Nick rested a hand on her thigh and squeezed her knee. “I don’t think you should be alone.”

  She covered his hand with her own. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

  “Okay, then I don’t want to be alone.” He swallowed hard. “Come home with me.”

  Chapter Three

  SITTING ON NICK’S buttery leather couch with her legs curled under her, Kate tried not to think about Jaxon as she watched the six o’clock news, ate a whale’s weight in Chinese food, and helped Nick finish off the second bottle of white wine.

  They were celebrating their victory in style.

  Nick’s condo loft was in a converted warehouse, with high ceilings, exposed beams and brick, and open space. His kitchen boasted top-of-the-line stainless steel appliances, and modern gray and white furniture with red accents filled his living room. His home reminded her of the man himself: sleek lines, conservative, with hints of something exciting hidden underneath the outside appearance.

  She caught some lo mein noodles between her chopsticks and slurped them into her mouth, missing only a few that dropped back into the paper container.

  Nick’s phone buzzed again, and like the dozens of times before, they ignored it. At first it had been exciting when he got calls from networks like CNN and MSNBC; but after a while, it had gotten burdensome. He’d handed the task of scheduling the interviews to Lisa, including Rachel Dawson’s exclusive with Jaxon. Still, they continued to call him.

  Somehow they’d managed to get her number as well, although not nearly as many bothered with her. After all, she wasn’t the one the media called a modern-day hero. That honor had been bestowed on Nick.

  The networks were interviewing anyone who’d ever met Nick and speculating on whether he’d win if he chose to run for Michigan Attorney General in four years. He’d blushed when they first mentioned it, but she caught the sparkle in his eye. He was considering it.

  Of course, every story needs a villain, and the mighty Miles Joseph made a great one. Luckily, they hadn’t mentioned anything about her past so far, but as she’d learned in the last week, the information wasn’t buried as deeply as she’d hoped.

  “Can I try the noodles?” he asked.

  She handed off the container and watched as he picked up some noodles with the chopsticks and sucked them into his mouth, leaving his lips glistening with oil. A week ago she would’ve been tempted to lick them clean, but she didn’t think of him that way anymore.

  Nick was a friend, her mentor, and her boss. Nothing more.

  She played with the gold around her neck. Even if she did have romantic feelings toward him, as long as she wore Jax’s collar, she couldn’t bear to move on.

  The day—hell, the week—had finally caught up with her. Giving in to her buzz, she cuddled into the couch and closed her eyes.

  Darkness surrounded her.

  Hannah lay on the carpet, blood flowing from a bullet hole in her forehead. She gazed at Kate, her mouth gaping open like a fish on a hook. “You killed me.”

  Kate’s heart pounded. She flipped open the top of her Tic Tac container and shook it upside down, but the pills disappeared before they reached her hand.

  Male laughter came from Hannah, but now she was Miles Joseph. A hunting knife stuck out of his chest. “Your sarcasm will get you killed . . . in the courtroom.” He continued to laugh as if he’d heard the greatest joke.

  She tried to escape, but her wrists were chained to a wall. She couldn’t close her eyes. Couldn’t cover her ears. They were punishing her for their deaths.

  “I should’ve never taught you to use a gun.” Her father took Joseph’s place, a deer in his arms. Blood poured from his eyes and mouth.

  Her lips moved, but no sound came out. She had to tell them she was sorry or she’d never leave this hell.

  “Katerina. Save me.”

  Jaxon stood in front of her naked, blue rope binding his wrists. No longer in chains, she gripped a gun in her hands.

  She pointed it at Jaxon.

  And shot him.

  Her eyes opened to a bright light. She gasped for air, the sound of Rachel Dawson’s voice coming from the television blaring in her ears.

  Nick caressed her cheek. “Kate. You’re okay. It was just a nightmare. No one can hurt you now.”

  She bolted upright and took in her surroundings. She was at Nick’s place.

  “How long did I sleep?” she asked, her voice raspy.

  “Three hours. I debated carrying you to bed, but I didn’t want to wake you. You looked so peaceful until the last few minutes.” He inched closer. “You want to talk about your dream?”

  “I don’t remember it.” The lie rolled off her tongue.

  Even after waking, the feeling of being trapped lingered. Nothing from her nightmare made sense. She hadn’t killed Hannah, and the manner in which they’d died was wrong. Most disconcerting was Jaxon’s appearance.

  She rubbed her wrist, almost expecting marks from the dream’s chains. “Did I miss anything exciting?”

  Nick flipped off the television. “Not a thing. They just rehashed the same facts in a dozen different ways. Doesn’t matter how they paint it. Miles Joseph killed two women and tried to kill you.”

  In the meantime, they’d never apologize to Jaxon for raking his good name through the mud.

  She stood and the floor wobbled beneath her feet. The three hours hadn’t been enough to quell the fatigue.

  Nick popped up from the couch and put a steadying arm around her. “Let’s get you to bed.”

  A nervous flutter tickled the inside of her belly. “I can sleep on the couch.”

  If they shared a bed, she trusted that Nick would remain a gentleman, but she didn’t want to give him the wrong idea about them.

  He pushed her toward his bedroom in the back of the loft. “No. Take the bed. I’ll take the couch.”

  The room was much like the rest of his place. Functional and uncluttered. The gray-marbled sleigh bed was in the middle of the room with matching nightstands on each side. A couple of framed pictures sat on the dresser.

  She picked one up, smiling to see Nick in a graduation cap and gown between an elderly man and woman. “Are these your parents?”

  He came up beside her. “Grandparents. I never knew my father, and my mother took off shortly after she had me. One of those stories where being strict backfired. They were really religious. Sent her to an all-girls high school. Wouldn’t let her date. And she was pregnant with me by graduation.”

  “They must be so proud of you.”

  “My grandfather died while I was in law school, and my grandmother died during my first year at Joseph and Long, but yes, I think they were proud.”

  She put down the frame. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

  Mesmerized by the sight of a young Alyssa sandwiched between Jaxon and Nick, she brought the other photograph closer. They all smiled brightly, their arms slung around each other’s shoulders.

  Kate’s throat tightened as she studied th
e love of Jaxon’s life. She was dressed casually in shorts and a blouse, but she still managed to appear glamorous with her sparkling diamond stud earrings and diamond choker. Despite Alyssa’s smile, there was sadness in her eyes.

  “That was taken a month after she and Jaxon started dating,” Nick said wistfully.

  Poor Nick. He’d spent so much time working since Alyssa’s murder, he probably hadn’t had the chance to mourn. She rubbed his back in a feeble attempt to console him. “You miss her.”

  He took the frame from her and gently returned it to its spot on his dresser. “Every day.” He shook his head and gave her a little smile. “You’re tired. I should let you get some sleep.” After rummaging through a drawer, he handed her a T-shirt. “You can wear this to bed. If you need anything, I’ll be on the couch.” He kissed her forehead. “’Night, Kate.”

  As he turned to leave, she stopped him with a hand to his wrist, her nightmare fresh in her mind. “Wait. Could you stay with me for a few minutes while I fall asleep?”

  Lines around his eyes crinkled as a smile broke out on his face. “Of course. I’ll be right here while you change.”

  She nodded and carried the shirt with her to the bathroom. As she slipped the large cotton shirt over her head, she caught the subtle scent of soap and musk on the fabric. It smelled . . . wrong. It wasn’t Jax’s. She couldn’t help feeling he should be the one soothing her after the nightmare.

  After folding her clothes, she went back into the bedroom.

  Bare-chested, Nick lay on top of the covers, his back resting against the headboard. “You look good in my shirt.”

  “Thanks. You look good . . . without one.”

  That was putting it mildly. Golden skin stretched over washboard abs. In the middle of his firm pecs, he had a V of blond hair and a trail of it disappeared below his pants. But as much as she appreciated his good looks, her body didn’t respond.

  She padded over to the bed and slid under the cool sheets, resting her head in the crook of his welcoming arm. Warmth spread throughout her limbs, and she sighed, releasing the strain of the day’s events. She didn’t experience the feeling of home in his arms like she did with Jaxon, but it was comfortable and pleasant. Safe. Similar to how she’d feel with Caden.

  Nick stroked her hair. “I’ve never been more scared than when I saw you and Miles Joseph fight over that gun. In that moment, everything I’d worked for my whole life meant nothing. Not without you.” His voice cracked with emotion.

  She peered up at him. “Nick—”

  “I know I’m your boss and the firm would frown on our relationship, but I have to tell you, I don’t care anymore. If I’m forced to quit in order for us to be together, so be it. Because, Kate, I love you. And I know you probably don’t feel the same, but I hope someday you will. Do you have any feelings for me?”

  He loved her.

  How many years had she wanted this man?

  Too many to count.

  But he didn’t own her heart. Too bad the man who had it didn’t want it.

  She sat up, uncomfortable both physically and emotionally. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

  He smoothed a stray hair off her cheek. “You never told me what happened between you and Jaxon at Benediction.”

  Damn Nick’s ability to read her.

  He continued. “You developed feelings for him, didn’t you?”

  Her fingers flew to her collar, and she nodded slowly. “Yes.”

  He tipped his head. “I can understand that.” His tone was light, and he didn’t sound upset at all. “He’s a great guy. That’s why I’ve called him my best friend since college. It’s why I fixed him up with Alyssa. And you’ve got one of the biggest hearts I know.” He took her hand and swiped his thumb back and forth across it. “You offered him comfort at the most difficult time of his life and accompanied him to a sex club. I’m sure he didn’t intentionally take advantage of you, but it must have stroked his ego to have a young, beautiful woman by his side as he learned all the ways his wife had betrayed him.”

  A sinking feeling settled in her belly. “You think he took advantage of me?”

  He gave her a sympathetic half smile. “Like I said, I’m sure it wasn’t intentional. But who could resist you? You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever met. Not to mention one of the most intelligent. Don’t you notice how every man stops what he’s doing and stares at you when you enter the room? No single, heterosexual man would turn down a chance to be with you.”

  Was Nick right? Had she been merely a convenient distraction for Jaxon?

  The sinking feeling morphed into a crater the size of the Grand Canyon. “I think you’re exaggerating.”

  He tugged on her hand. “I’m not. I’ve been patient because you’re my intern, but I’ve wanted you since your interview. I thought you felt the same.”

  Her cheeks grew hot. Why was it she had no problem fucking Jaxon on a stage in front of people, but what she was about to admit to Nick made her blush? “I did. I had a crush on you for years. I even . . .”

  “What?”

  She covered her face with her hands. “It’s so embarrassing.” She dropped her hands to her lap. “When I was in college, I read the article about you in Hour Magazine and I . . . clipped it. After that I followed your career. I even kept a scrapbook of you.”

  He bumped her playfully with his shoulder. “Wow. My own personal stalker. Not many attorneys get one of those.”

  She laughed. “I know. You must think I’m unbalanced.”

  He shook his head. “No. I’m flattered.” His eyes gleamed with arousal as he gazed at her lips.

  She covered his hand with hers. “Nick, you’re really a great friend—”

  He jerked away. “You’re giving me the friend speech? Is it because of Jaxon?” A shadow of what looked like anger passed over his face, but when she blinked, it was gone.

  “No.” She hated disappointing him, but it was better to tell him now than to lead him on. “I realize Jaxon and I may not work out, but regardless, I don’t have those feelings for you anymore. I learned things about myself this week, and it changed me.”

  He glared at her, his eyes narrowed, giving her the impression that he was trying to see inside her and figure her out. Then he shook his head and smiled. “I understand. Friends it is . . . for now. And when you’re ready, I’ll be there waiting for you.”

  It was on the tip of her tongue to contradict him, but she held back. He’d saved her life and been the one who stuck around to comfort her today. She didn’t have it in her to hurt him. Besides, even though she couldn’t imagine it, who could say she wouldn’t feel differently in time?

  She faked a yawn. “Thanks for sitting with me, but I’m really tired.”

  He squeezed her shoulder and kissed the top of her head. “Get some sleep. If you need anything, I’ll be right outside on the couch.”

  He got up from the bed and turned off the lights before closing the door behind him. She flipped to her side and stared into the darkness, unfortunately wide awake.

  If the time ever came when she wanted to give herself to Nick, he would deserve to have every part of her, including her heart.

  But first she’d have to get it back from Jaxon.

  Chapter Four

  One Day to Elections . . .

  TAKING A BREAK from the chaos of her life and having lunch at her new desk in Nick’s office, she smiled when a FaceTime call rang on her iPad. She clicked “accept” and her favorite man’s face filled the screen.

  It didn’t matter how cold and gray it got in the Upper Peninsula, Caden always had a golden tan. He looked like he belonged on the beaches of California or in the waves of Hawaii rather than in snow hills taller than him.

  Six-foot-three with shoulder-length blond hair, turquoise irises, and muscles toned by hard work rebuilding motorcycles, he stood out from the crowd wherever he went. Especially in their hometown, where he didn’t just look like he didn’t belong—he actually didn’t belon
g. Not only because he was gay but because he didn’t play by their rules. He’d proven that when he’d stood by her side after she’d killed her dad.

  He was wearing one of his stern looks that told her she was about to receive a lecture. “Sounds like you need a handler down there in Detroit.”

  Ah hell. He’d heard.

  The past few days had flown by in a blur of news interviews and press conferences. While she’d initially balked at Nick’s request for her presence at his side during it all, he eventually convinced her it would not only help her career but give her closure as well. She’d held her breath, waiting for them to uncover her past as Katerina Martini, but thankfully no one had brought it up.

  From being called an “up-and-coming attorney to watch” and compared to a young Gloria Allred by the media, she’d received job offers from firms located all over the country, but she politely turned them all down. If she worked at a firm after graduation, it would be at Joseph and Long. After everything that had happened, she was beginning to have her doubts about working for a large firm. But she’d spent years working toward that goal, never considering another option. What else could she do?

  Several times she’d start to call Caden, but something would always distract her. Or maybe she didn’t want to hear the worry in his voice or see the concern in his eyes. Even though she was a month older than him, he’d always acted like her big brother.

  She thought she’d have a little time before the news of her run-in with Miles Joseph reached him. As the one person she considered family, he deserved a call days ago.

  She smiled and tried to play innocent. “Normally, I’d say no, but if you’re volunteering, I’d make an exception.” And that was the truth. She’d always make room for him.

  His expression softened. “I wish I could, baby girl. You mind telling me how the hell you got yourself in the middle of the Deveroux investigation?”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It’s been a crazy couple of weeks.”