White Collared Part Four: Passion Read online

  Contents

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  About the Author

  By Shelly Bell

  Copyright

  About the Publisher

  Chapter One

  SHE WAS FLOATING on a silky cloud in the azure sky, the sun beating down on her and a warm breeze grazing over her naked flesh. No one could reach her here. She was completely safe.

  And thirsty. So, so, so thirsty.

  What she wouldn’t give for a Sloe Gin Fizz.

  Cool, smooth glass pressed into her palm as if she’d conjured her favorite drink out of thin air. Without spilling a drop of her refreshment, she somersaulted down the length of the cloud.

  She chuckled, the noise of it foreign to her ears. How long had it been since she’d truly laughed? Why had she ever stopped?

  Flying high above the earth, she could laugh as much as she wanted. Drink as much as she wanted. Play as much as she wanted.

  She took a sip of her drink, and before she knew it the glass was empty. Yet the sides of her throat stuck to each other. She was still so thirsty. Maybe she needed another drink. Water this time. She waited for it to magically appear, but her hands remained empty.

  Her cloud turned black and thunder rumbled. She reached out for him, momentarily forgetting she was alone. Always alone.

  She didn’t want to stay up in the sky here any longer.

  All the drinks in the world wouldn’t quench her thirst.

  Not without her hero.

  From below, someone called her name. Was it him?

  It was time to find out. She slammed back into her body and opened her eyes.

  Chapter Two

  Six Days to Elections . . .

  BLUE EYES FILLED with tears stared down at her. Nick ran his hand over her hair as her head rested in his lap. “Thank God you’re all right.”

  Why did she smell gun powder?

  She tried to turn her head toward the other side of the room, but he stopped her with his hand on her cheek. “No, Kate. Don’t look. You don’t want to see.”

  A hot rush of adrenaline streamed through her body, cramping her stomach. Nausea tickled at her dry throat. It all came back, swamping her with horror.

  Miles Joseph had attacked Hannah. Murdered Stephanie and Alyssa. She’d held a gun in her hands.

  And Nick had saved her life. How could she ever repay him?

  Her chest ached, and she shivered. “Nick.”

  His thumb caressed the skin under her ear. “Shh. You’re safe now.”

  She needed to make him understand. “Miles Joseph killed Alyssa. I found the evidence in his drawer.”

  The bloodstained knife. And he’d admitted he’d tried to kill her. He would’ve shot her if Nick hadn’t stopped him.

  He removed his suit jacket and laid it over her. “I know. But it’s all over.”

  “I tried to shoot him with the gun you gave me, but I couldn’t do it. I froze.”

  “It’s okay, baby. I did it for you.”

  The guilt pierced her heart like a threaded needle to fabric. Her father’s death had haunted her for years, and there wasn’t a day she didn’t wonder if she could’ve done something differently. She didn’t want Nick to suffer the same fate. “It’s not okay. You don’t know what it’s like to live with the knowledge that you killed someone.”

  His breathing grew rapid. “Better me than you. I’d kill a hundred men for you, Kate. Haven’t you learned that by now?” He tucked her hair behind her ear. “I can’t believe I almost lost you. It’s all my fault. I should’ve never let you go to Benediction with Jaxon, and as soon as I realized you were in danger, I should have taken you off the case.”

  She gave him a weak smile. “You tried.”

  “I should’ve tried harder.”

  The familiar sour stench of death drifted from Joseph’s body. Her stomach rolled, and she inhaled through her mouth, fighting against the nausea. “I wouldn’t have listened. I wanted to help Jaxon and I knew the risk. I kept things from you when I should have been honest. It’s not your fault.”

  “What if I’d been too late? I would’ve never forgiven myself.”

  When she’d gotten off the phone with Logan, she should have immediately called Nick. Good thing he’d shown up when he had. “How did you know I was here?”

  “After I spoke with you, I decided it was best to have Jaxon turn himself into police custody. That way we could at least take the wind out of the sails of District Attorney Savage’s press conference and frustrate his self-seeking last-minute election ratings grab. I arrived as a car backed out of his garage, and so I followed. When you arrived in the lot, I was going to call out to you, but Jaxon called to apologize for lying. I was on my way to your desk when I heard your voice coming from Joseph’s office and caught enough to know you were in trouble.” His throat worked over a swallow. “You could’ve died because of me, and that will stay with me until my dying breath. Kate, I lo—”

  “Police,” a male voice announced from down the hallway.

  What was Nick going to say? Was it possible he was in love with her?

  He helped her to her feet and kept his arm around her, as if he feared she’d collapse if he didn’t support her. She was grateful for him, but she couldn’t help feeling the person she needed the most wasn’t here.

  Jaxon.

  A lump of regret clogged her throat. She’d hurt him. Blamed him for lying to her when she’d lied to him as well. He’d made a mistake and should’ve come clean about his alibi from the beginning, but he hadn’t deserved to have her walk away from what they had together.

  If only she hadn’t stormed out of Jaxon’s house, the morning might have gone differently. Miles Joseph wouldn’t have died.

  To take a human life, whether by accident or intent, changed a person in ways others couldn’t begin to fathom. It tainted the soul. She had to accept that she was partially responsible for the guilt Nick would eventually feel once he processed that a man had died by his hand.

  With Nick distracted by the police, she couldn’t resist looking at Joseph’s body. He lay lifeless, blood drenching his face and chest and pooling around his head. His eyes and mouth were open in an expression of shock, as if he couldn’t believe Nick had bested him.

  Nick had shot him in the middle of his chest and his forehead. Even with her expertise, she couldn’t have gotten off two better. Was Nick an expert marksman or just plain lucky? Whichever it was, those bullets had saved her ass, and she owed Nick her undying gratitude.

  For the next hour, the police grilled her and Nick separately in different boardrooms as other officers processed the crime scene. She’d showed them the drawer with the evidence and had explained how tracing the e-mails had led her to his office. They worried she’d tampered with evidence, but with Nick battling for her, they quickly dropped the issue and focused on the facts as she laid them out.

  She was becoming too familiar with this scene, and a disturbing numbness had replaced her usual anxiety. It was as if Joseph had cut out her heart and left her chest cavity barren. She didn’t know what it meant, but she was grateful for the temporary reprieve.

  An hour must have passed as she sat alone in the boardroom, waiting for the police to continue their questions. She was so tired. All she wanted to do was crawl into Jaxon’s bed and have him hold her as she slept. Had the police called him? Was he relieved they’d found Alyssa’s murderer? Would he forgive Kate?

&nbs
p; The door squeaked open and her head snapped up to see Officer Standish enter the room.

  “We’d like to continue the questioning at the station, if you don’t mind,” said Officer Standish.

  Nick strode in, passing the policeman, and put his hand on her shoulder. “I don’t think Kate can—”

  She shook her head. “I’m fine. Yes, let’s finish this up tonight. I want it over.”

  “Is it Kate?” A frantic voice out in the hallway drew her attention. “Let me in. I work at this firm.”

  Logan bolted into the room, panic evident from his wide eyes and the lines on his face.

  She got up from the table and crossed the room to him. “Logan, what are you doing here?”

  He embraced her. “Thank Christ you’re okay. You scared the shit out of me.” After the hug, he shot a look between her and Nick. “What happened?”

  Officer Standish’s eyes narrowed. “How did you know she’d be here?”

  She turned to the officer. “This is Logan Bradford, the man who tied Miles Joseph to the threats I’d received.”

  The detective nodded curtly. “Oh good. You made it easy on us. Why don’t you come down to the station too?”

  Logan gave him a lazy grin. “With an invitation like that, how can I refuse?”

  “Has anyone called Jaxon Deveroux?” she asked.

  The cop nodded. “He’s being interrogated at the station now. While Miles Joseph seems the likeliest candidate for Alyssa Deveroux’s murder, we haven’t completed the investigation. Mr. Deveroux is still a suspect, especially since a witness has come forward saying he lied about his alibi.”

  Nick stepped forward. “I’m his attorney. He shouldn’t be questioned without me being present.”

  “He didn’t want an attorney.” Officer Standish grinned smugly. “Besides, he’s not in custody, so don’t worry about us violating his rights.”

  Why didn’t he want Nick with him?

  She couldn’t wait to apologize to Jaxon and put this all in the past. Once they determined Miles Joseph was responsible for Alyssa’s murder, he could start healing from the ordeal.

  Despite Logan’s insistence that he drive her to the station, she chose to go with Nick and meet Logan there. She could sense he had questions. Questions she didn’t want to have to answer.

  They spent the next few hours being grilled by the police, both separately and together. She told them almost everything—from the phone calls and hacking to both attempts on her life—leaving out only her undercover work at Benediction. Her head pounded from exhaustion, and even after drinking a whole carafe of bitter coffee, her eyes began to droop. She hadn’t gotten enough sleep this past week, and it had finally caught up to her.

  In the afternoon, the police confirmed through the parking structure’s video surveillance that Joseph had borrowed the company-owned BMW on the day she’d been run off the road. It was the same car that had whisked Jaxon away from the police station after his interrogation. Officer Standish informed them that the detectives had found additional evidence in a storage locker registered to Miles Joseph. When they’d raided the space, they’d found blue rope, two pairs of women’s panties, and a video tape. While they’d have to do DNA testing to match the panties with the victims, the video tape clearly depicted Joseph smothering Stephanie to death while having sex with her.

  Her eyes burned as she thought about Martha Webber. Hopefully, she’d find peace now that her daughter’s murder had been solved.

  She stood in the lobby, waiting for Nick to give her a ride home. The door to the back hallway opened and Nick walked through with Logan.

  “You shouldn’t have told her over the phone,” Nick said. “It was reckless. I’m tempted to have Reaver fire your ass.”

  She quickly jumped to Logan’s defense. “Nick, he didn’t do anything wrong. He was only doing his job, the same as me. He tried to convince me not to go by myself.”

  Logan looked grim. “Mr. Trenton, you do whatever you feel necessary. I deserve it after allowing a girl like Kate to enter a battlefield without protection.”

  She threw up her hands. “What is it with you alpha men? They grow you on trees around here?”

  Logan’s expression softened as he faced her. “When it comes to a woman he cares about, any decent man—alpha or not—would walk through the nine circles of hell to protect her.”

  Wow. Whoever won this man’s heart was going to be one lucky girl.

  She hugged him and gave him a quick kiss on his cheek. “You’re a good man, Logan.”

  He squared his shoulders. “I haven’t always been, but I hope someday to earn that label.”

  She smiled at him. “Take it from me. You already have.”

  They had started toward the exit when Jaxon came through the back, his eyes bloodshot and his hair as wild as the day they’d met. Logan nodded and departed through the front door, leaving her with Jaxon and Nick.

  Jaxon’s face was set in stone. “Are you both okay?”

  She tried to gauge how he was feeling, but he looked so damned tired, she couldn’t get a read on him.

  Nick gave Jaxon a manly half-hug with a smack on the back. “Yeah, man. It’s over. Miles Joseph killed Alyssa.”

  Jaxon raked his fingers through his hair. “Why? Why would he kill her?”

  His question took her aback. Why had Joseph killed Alyssa? Would they ever learn the truth?

  “I don’t know, but at least you can reclaim your life,” Nick said.

  Jaxon nodded, carefully avoiding her gaze. “Thank you. For everything.”

  She set her hand on his forearm. “Jaxon? Can I speak with you for a moment?”

  Nick’s gaze ping-ponged between her and Jaxon. “I’ll get the car and wait for you outside.”

  Jaxon’s lips pressed together in a grim line.

  She inhaled sharply, fighting off the dread snaking around her chest and squeezing her heart. “What happens now?”

  He frowned, his face pinched as if he were in physical pain. “Now?”

  “You know, with us.”

  The hurt in his eyes nearly knocked her off her feet. “There is no us. You broke up with me, remember?”

  She blinked back the tears that threatened to fall. It was one thing to show vulnerability in the bedroom, but here, in the police station, she had to keep her composure. “I’m so sorry I didn’t trust you. Could you forgive me?”

  He pulled her to his chest and wrapped his arms around her. “There’s nothing to forgive. The whole time I was demanding honesty from you, I was lying myself. If anyone needs to apologize, it’s me.”

  She relaxed into him, the rhythm of his heartbeat under her cheek soothing her. “Don’t get me wrong. It hurts to know you kept Bethany Gold a secret from me and that you lied about your alibi. Now that Alyssa’s killer is dead, there’s nothing keeping us from being together. We can do this for real.” For the first time since she’d left his house, she allowed herself to hope they could make it. “I belong to you, Jax,” she said, intentionally using that name.

  Inhaling sharply, he palmed the back of her head. “I want you. You have no idea how much. When I heard that you had gone to Miles Joseph’s office without backup, I wanted to bend you over my knee, spank your ass for being reckless, and handcuff you to my wrist so you’d never be able to go anywhere without me. You’ve been my bright star in an otherwise dark sky this past week. But I don’t know if I have anything to give back.” He stepped back from her and rubbed a hand down the stubble of his cheek. “I’ve made so many mistakes in both my marriage and my relationship with you. You deserve much more than I can give you right now.”

  A dull ache settled into her chest. “What are you saying?”

  “I need some time to figure out what to do next with my life. And I need to do it alone. I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you.”

  The words burned like acid, and she swallowed the sour taste of rejection. “You haven’t hurt me,” she said, the lie as familiar as her face
in the mirror. “I knew going into this with you that it was temporary. I was only doing my job. I just got carried away.” She sucked in a breath through her nose, holding back a sob. “Good luck, Jaxon.”

  “It was more than a job. Don’t lie to me and don’t lie to yourself. What we had was real. If circumstances were different, I’d never let you go.” He stared at her as if memorizing every line of her face, and for a brief moment, she thought he’d change his mind. “But I have to. I’m a sinking ship, and I’ll only take you down with me. I care for you too much to be responsible for drowning you with my problems.”

  A sliver of anger pierced her heart. “Don’t I get a say?”

  He shook his head. “You’re too young and naïve to understand that I’m doing this for you.”

  “I may be young, but you know better than most people that I’m far from naïve,” she said, the venom spilling from her lips. “Don’t try to bullshit me because I’ve been here before. When things get complicated, it’s easier to run and hide rather than face your fears head-on. I should know. I’ve been doing it for years. You’re a coward, and you’re right. You don’t deserve me.”

  He moved closer and reached for her, but she shrugged him off. She didn’t want him to console her. She wanted him to admit she was right and to fight for her, but she knew she was fighting a losing battle. Like almost everyone else in her life had done, he was abandoning her. It didn’t matter why he was ending their relationship because the end result was the same, and whether he was doing it for her or himself, it hurt just as much.

  Closing his eyes, he dropped his hands to his sides. A thousand minutes seemed to pass as she waited for those final words. His beautiful eyes opened, and she saw the sorrow in them. “Good-bye, Kate.” Taking her heart with him, he turned and walked out the door.

  She started to follow. To beg him to admit that he didn’t want to end things between them. But she stopped. He’d asked for time, and she owed him that. If it was meant to be, he would come back to her.

  Out of habit, she unzipped her purse and wrapped her trembling hand around her pills. How many should she take?

  One to curb the racing of her damaged heart? Two to numb the pain? Three to forget what she’d lost? Four to soar above the clouds?